(By the way when I searched Yo yo images, Kirstie Alley was on the first page. Chris and I had a long conversation last week after DWTS about why I think Kirstie Alley is the greatest. I'm not sure why...I mean what has she been in besides Cheers and Look Who's Talking? Chris did mention she was a Vulcan in a Star Trek movie but that went beyond my Kirstie knowledge. I watched Look Who's Talking dozens of times at my friend's house...and then considering the yo yo thingI find she's pretty real.)
And that tangent paragraph goes to show the whole problem. I've totally lost focus. It took 8 months of a lot of dedication to lose 12 pounds, and 3 months to put back on 10. This is a really screwed up yo yo. I can track the real derailment to Dec 18th when I stopped all efforts. The holidays? Nope. The day I accepted my new job. It turns out I only have so much discipline, commitment and focus in me, and I can't focus on two things that are highly stressful.
It's also clearer than ever before that I'm a stress eater. I get stressed, I eat, which makes losing weight even more stressful because I've lost the thing that makes me feel better. Add an AMAZING selection of restaurants in my building including one of the best bakeries in town and BAM, my loose pants had to be pulled out of the goodwill box. Geez! There's something about having a terrible meeting at work and then biting into a chocolate chip cookie or a croissant. I know it's bad, but it is oh so good at that moment. I'm sorry all you runners, but I don't think the runner high will ever come close for me. My true drug of choice is sugar. It sounds cheesy I know (and I love cheese too, but not like sugar). Then today I read this in the NYTimes article about sugar and school lunches:
Scientists have demonstrated the power of sugar since at least 1974, when a Brooklyn College professor, Anthony Sclafani, found that lab rats were so drawn to Froot Loops that they would suppress their natural fear to eat in the exposed areas of their cages. Researchers using brain imagining technology have since found that foods high in sugar or fat activate the same reward system as cocaine and other drugs, and can also set off the release of the neural chemical dopamine, which can cause the brain to override the biological brakes that prevent overeating.
Sigh...I hate this. Everything about it. My mom saying "I've known this about sugar for years"in her I teach health class to 150 kids a year and my daughter STILL doesn't understand this sad voice. My dad saying "I ran 17 miles today" and I think Yeah I napped for 2 hours. Chris saying "it's okay. You can still do it" The logical me knowing I'm doing it to myself, and the fact that I'm even posting this on my blog when you could read this on about 5 billion blogs or ask 10 women in any American office if they want to talk about food or weight and be bored to death for hours.
Well, anyways, here I go again...back on the wagon, but frustrated and angry about it.
5 comments:
Don't beat yourself up because you don't run. There are soooo many ways to exercise! I hate running too. I've tried to force myself to like it and it never worked. I probably ended up hating it more. Do something you love instead! Knowing you I'd bet you'd have a blast doing Zumba or something similar (I'd LOVE to try it sometime too! Want me to fly up there so we can do it together?!). Or what about swimming? Also, napping is NOT bad. It's healthy! In fact, if you combined exercise AND napping you'd be more healthy than just the people that exercise.
Laura I love you and think you're awesome. Don't be too hard on yourself and just focus on a day at a time, lose pound by pound until you get back to the weight you want. You'll do it! (Especially since it sounds like you know exactly what your trigger is). Anyway I think you're great!!!
That's supposed to say that you'd be healthier than the people who JUST exercise. I realized it sounded like I said you'd be healthier than only a small group of people which isn't what I meant.
You can do it, Laura. It's easy to lose focus especially when you have something as life changing as a new job. Just think at least the Yo yo is only 10 lbs. Not like Kirstie with the Yo yo of 50-80 lbs that she deals with. I know it's frustrating, you know I know, but you'll get back on it when the timing is right. I know that's not much help but I think you look beautiful anyways! Just look at your daughter--how could something that beautiful (who looks like you) not have come from a beautiful mom?
Oh honey, I understand all too well. Please don't be so hard on yourself....ya, right.....easier said than done......and really don't try to compare yourself to anyone else.....another, ya, right....... Knowing something and living it are two very different things. Finding the happy medium is the hardest part! Hang in there and remember that you are a beautiful, amazing woman, period!
I understand how you feel. I was going to be sooo good the other day, and make some chocolate chip cookies from my light recipe cookbook. Instead, I ate about 10 Robin's Eggs. Seems like you need a better stress release. Could you take knitting to work and do that during your lunch breaks?
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