A perfect picnic

Papa John and Grandmama visited this weekend. We had a wonderful time. I will post more once I get the rest of the pictures from Dad. Here are pictures from our beautiful picnic on Friday afternoon.

Penelope tearing up a napkin Enjoying our yummy lunch from the co-op

Mommy and Penelope

Photo shoot with Penelope, Papa John and Grandmama

clap clap clap

Changing into her swimsuit

She was unsure about the cold outdoor wading pool, especially since Mommy wasn't holding her.

...maybe it's okay

...maybe not. She lasted about 2 minutes

Garage Sale Jackpot

Chris and I really enjoy garage sales because we like to decorate with antiques from the time period of our house...but I hate wasting weekends going to sales that are complete junk. This weekend my mom and I were walking to the Birchwood for coffee. We passed the Gnome Home, (that's what I call it). It is an adorable teeny bungalow. They have a little girl a year older than Penelope. Well, they happened to be having a yard sale. Boy, did we hit the jackpot! I got a ton of 18 month winter clothes, a baby swing to hang in our yard, one of those sun dome things for Penelope to hang out in when we are outside, and some books all for $20. But it was more than a garage sale because she was also selling stuff she makes. Check out these onesies:They are too small for Penelope, but what perfect gifts! I love buying handmade one of a kind things like this.

Then look at this bench. It is an old piano bench she reupholstered. There's enough room to store kids books and small toys. It matches our woodwork and looks perfect under our windowsill. I'm going to add some foam or something so little fingers don't get smushed and probably change the rug.

She was practically giving stuff away. Their house is smaller than ours so I imagine she was in a decluttering frenzy. Her husband was getting angry at how low she priced her handmade things so when she told my mom the bench was $10, my mom gave her $15. Probably the only person in history to pay MORE for an item at a garage sale than what it was tagged. She also had a whole box of handknit diaper soakers. They were too small for Penelope and I don't know anyone planning to cloth diaper so I didn't pick them up. They sure were beautifully done with intricate patterns...She said being pregnant in the winter made her go a little crazy on the knitting and making baby clothes.

Father's Day Weekend

I found my camera! It was lost in a secret pocket in the diaper bag. Lots of pictures from Father's Day Weekend. We are actually going to have a "redo" some time this summer because Father's Day afternoon all of us came down with a horrible stomach bug. Ugh. Pretty horrible, but it was only a 24 hour thing.

Saturday was a beautiful day to play outside

Penelope playing with rings while Mommy and Daddy weededStill working on those teeth!Helping Mommy with Daddy's card. Penelope "fingerpainted" with sticky strawberry fingersFather's Day morning. Penelope wore her very cute comic book inspired I love Daddy pajamas
Enjoying a bowl of cereal

9 month appt

Camera is MIA. Hopefully I find it soon to update with pictures. Penelope had her 9 month appt last week. She is now 19 lbs which puts her in the 65th%, 27 inches (45th%) and one big head...can't remember the exact dimensions but I know she is in the 75th%. What can I say? She's a smarty and her brain needs a lot of room. She had to get 2 shots. It was worse this time then when she was little. At 2 weeks old I saw 2 emotions...screaming and quiet. But now she is a happy smiley baby and friendly to everyone. She was babbling to the nurse right to the moment of the shot. Then she wailed. So pitiful! I was about to nurse her because when she was little the dr told me it would be the best way to calm her down. Well, before I could do that the nurse asked, "Do you think a sticker would make her feel better?" Huh?! A sticker? She's a baby...isn't that for 5 year olds? Well, sure enough, she pulled out a very large bright My Little Pony sticker, waved it in front of Penelope. She stopped crying and reached out for the sticker. Shows what I know!
The Grandmama and Papa John will be here for the weekend so we are sure to have lots of pictures next week.

9 months of local milk

This post deals with breastfeeding. If you do not feel comfortable with this subject or do not feel it is appropriate for a blog post please do not read. Oh, and it's really long...

Ok so I've been writing this blog in my head since Penelope's birth, but I didn't know how to do it exactly. This isn't about "breast is best" or benefits of breastfeeding. I feel it is a very personal choice for each mom to make. Formula is not the devil. I don't believe formula babies become maladjusted, stupid, fat adults. After a year of reading and connecting with other breastfeeding moms online, I realized that most people don't know the "normal" breastfeeding mom. Instead they think of the La Leche League type. I know LLL has done amazing things to bring nursing information and support to tons of women. Their mission is all about women learning from each other, but they sort of have the PETA stigma where people associate them with their fanatic supporters. I ran into a woman like this when I was voting in the November election. I was wearing Penelope in the sling and the woman at the sign-in table said "Oh, I can just tell you are nursing. Only women who nurse look that happy" What?! I know many non-breastfeeding moms that look pretty darn happy! After 9 months of breastfeeding I've learned that many women do spend months nursing and pumping at work, but they don't talk about it. I understand this is partly our culture's idea that it is a very private bonding activity, but we also don't want to make other moms feel guilty about their choices, inability to meet whatever goal they made for themselves in the beginning, or come off as a militant breastfeeding supporter. I hope no one feels this way about this post. This is just my experience...

Breastfeeding Class A year ago Chris and I went to a 3 hour breastfeeding class. Chris and I had already completed the 16 hour labor delivery course. He grumbled that a 3 hour bfing class was over the top, but we joined 50 other couples in a lecture hall to learn how to feed our young. We learned all sorts of cool history and science facts. Did you know that the first bit of colustrum smells the same as the amniotic fluid? How cool is that?! We passed around large plush anatomically correct breasts. After the break each couple had a doll. Yes, we practiced the different holds and getting the baby "up and on". Throughout the class they mentioned the hospital's lactation consultants. When we left Chris said "geez, they could have saved me 3 hours and given me a flyer with the lactation consultants phone number. How many times did they have to say that?" I knew we weren't going to need the lactation consultant. Our baby was going to be put on my stomach, look into mommy's eyes and start nursing. We had friends tell us "breastfeeding is hard!" yeah yeah, we took the class, you didn't take a 3 hour class, you don't know about colustrum smelling like amniotic fluid. We are so ahead of you.

It's NOT natural Well, I'm sure you've figured it out that, yes, I did need the lactation consultant. It should be the most natural thing in the world, right? I watched my dog give birth to puppies and those little blind things found their way to food. Somehow I forgot that they figure out how to walk at the same time too. After tons of reading from different sources here's my kind of non-scientific take on the whole lactation consultants. Humans learn from each other. Its the tabula rasa/blank slate idea. Our brains need to learn how to do things right from birth. Some babies catch on right away, while others need a little more tutoring. In a breastfeeding culture, every mom has built in lactation consultants through their relatives and friends. Yet as one book put it, the US almost lost the knowledge of breastfeeding in less than a century. Thanks to LLL and the realization that human breastmilk might just be a good food for human babies, more and more women are breastfeeding...without the knowledge or support systems to help them. So if your baby doesn't catch on, it is off to a specialist!

Penelope and I did okay in the hospital. She was jaundice, which I was later told is akin to being pumped with a bottle of valium. A little tired is an understatement. She did okay nursing, but just wasn't very hungry. Then we went home. The second night...just thinking about it makes me have a pit in my stomach even though the memory has faded some. It took over 20 mins to get her to latch, then the moment she got a little she'd fall right asleep, jolt awake 10 mins later and scream. It went on and on like this with both Chris and I sleeping on the floor of the nursery with her. By 4:00 I broke out the free sample of similac we received in the mail. (I had planned to donate it. The teacher at our class warned us not to keep it in the house.) At 5 am I was leaving a message at the lactation consultant's office. It kind of went like this..."(sob) My name is Laura. I have a baby. She won't eat (sniffle) I don't know what to do. Please call me. (sob)." That afternoon we met with Kris. She changed everything around in a half hour. We met with her 2 more times and talked on the phone with her whenever I hit a rough spot ("remember, it's like dancing. You start with the two step and move onto the waltz, but some times you are going to have to go back to your basic two step"). She gave me tons of up to date research. Do NOT google or go to message boards for the latest research on nipple confusion, shields, cluster feeding/supplements. Either go to the LLL website or talk to a lacatation consultant. A lot of the info being passed around the net is over 20 years old.

Cluster Feedings Everyone knows a baby eats every 2-3 hours in the beginning...but the countdown starts with the feeding so if you start at noon and baby takes an hour then you start up again at 2. Or if you have a cluster feeder like Penelope you sit on the couch for 6 hours and nurse for 20 mins, let her sleep for about 20 mins and then nurse again. When I left the hospital they told me to track her feedings. At the 2 week dr appt the pediatrician asked me how often she was eating. I said "ummm...maybe twice?" It really felt like 6 hour feedings. The one amazing thing was that after the feeding she'd sleep for 5 hours, but when she woke up, watch out! She was so hungry it was difficult to get her to latch. I cried a lot at this time. My goal of a year of breastfeeding went out the window. At each feeding my goal was to make it to the next one. The cluster feedings went on till she was about 2 months old. That was when I finally GOT the bonding part.

Beautiful Experience I've mentioned many times how much I loved being pregnant. To be completely honest I was terrified of being a mom (and of course, some of that fear is still there). I loved Penelope, but I felt I was failing her. When she was 2 months old it just clicked. From the moms I've talked to it seems this was late. Most moms I know say breastfeeding gets much easier around week 3. At 2 months old the cluster feeds were somewhat under control. I could do the football hold and cradle hold pretty confidently, and Penelope started interacting with me. We became a team. I wanted my maternity leave to start then. The first month did not "fly by" like everyone said it would. Each day of frustrating feedings and sleepless nights were so long...but once she started smiling and cuddling a little I wanted time to slow down. She still wakes up once in the night to nurse. I know most people say I should let her "cry it out", yet it's our special time together. One friend told me to think of all the other mothers around the world getting out of bed and comforting their babies. Isn't that a beautiful image?

From my experience I know I should stop at the very sweet paragraph above, but I wanted to also go into some of the reality of being a working mom and some "facts" about breastfeeding.

Weight Loss I saw Kelly Ripa after her maternity leave. She was as skinny as ever and pointed to breastfeeding as the reason. I only know a few women who got this great benefit. Yes, I lost all my pregnancy weight in 6 weeks, but my body is totally different. I hoped that more weight would just melt off. Well, on average a breastfeeding mom needs to be eating 500 calories above her normal intake to produce enough milk. A pregnant mom only needs 300 calories...so you need more energy to feed the baby then grow and nurture the baby in the womb! I am hungry all the time. I did try to diet at one point and my milk supply plummeted.

Convenience Sure, you've got your baby's food on you at all times. Pretty nice...but for me the convenience factor didn't kick in until she was about 2 months old. Up until that point I needed the My Brest Friend pillow to get her in the right position (highly recommended!) and there was no way I could cover her with a blanket or even the Hooter Hider (yes, these are the real names...breastfeeding marketers are obviously a fun group). I couldn't have a cover getting in my way as I fumbled to get her latched. Once she was older though I could sit in the corner of a coffee shop and discreetly feed her. If you are a stay at home mom, then the convenience is huge. For us 9-5ers though, it means hours of pumping. Yes, there's the whole "I feel like a cow" thing. Let me tell you, I have a lot of respect for cows now. I've put my small 6 oz bottles next to a gallon of milk and tear up a little "wow, bessie! You did all that and it isn't even for your own little calf." Anyways, if breastfeeding is an art then pumping is a very tricky science. The Medela Pump In Style became my best friend. Two months ago I realized I was spending close to 3 hours with this little motor every day. So much for convenience! Here's the catch 22 with pumping...a pump is never as good as a baby so if your supply is just what baby needs then you have to do more pumping time to get the same amount then as baby gets older she needs more so you need to pump even more. The only reason I was able to pump for 9 months is because I have my own office. Before I left on maternity leave I couldn't even say the word "pump"without turning red, but when I got back I had the Do Not Disturb sign on my door 4-5 x a day and was able to get work done at the same time. For the first few months when Penelope's day care was near my office I was able to feed her at lunch which definitly helped me physically and emotionally. Thanks to the Working Moms board on thebump.com I learned that I could travel for work and pump by packing coolers, this purel stuff specifically for pump parts and tips to find small private rooms. There must be many women who do this because at the airport the security person knew it was a pump just by seeing it in the x-ray machine. Nothing like having a 60 year old man run tests on your breastmilk to make sure it isn't explosive!

Supplementing Many breastfeeding women supplement because they feel they aren't making enough. This is the worst mistake you could make. The body thinks "oh, I only needed 14 ozs today. I'll cut back the amount I make" when in reality baby had 14 ozs of breast milk and 6 ozs of formula. The best thing a woman can do is nurse baby as much as possible (those horrendous cluster feedings are one of the best things for getting a good supply) and then pump if necessary. We had to supplement for a short while in January before I went on my work trip. I didn't have enough frozen to last the whole time I was gone. I was barely keeping up with Penelope's needs and hadn't been able to freeze enough for 2 1/2 days away. We figured we had enough to feed her about 3/4 breastmilk and 1/4 formula. What a disaster! The LC told me to do a mix 2 weeks before to get her used to it before I left. Well, at day care it caused projectile vomiting 4X. I was a wreck! So then we did even less formula. She got used to it, but had a few more incidents. Thankfully she did fine when I was gone, and right when I got back she was back to breastmilk only. Last month my body pretty much decided to wean Penelope. I wasn't making anything close to what she was eating We started her on some formula again and she did fine. She'll probably be completely weaned in the next week. It is amazing how the body works on supply and demand like this.

I know many of you are wondering "Was it worth all of this?!" The beginning was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Given my track record I'm surprised I didn't quit. A big thanks to my mom, mother-in-law and of course Chris for all their help (oh, and a big shout out to Chris for sterilizing and preparing my pump parts every morning while I fed Penelope). Pumping was inconvenient. But it was worth going home and nursing Penelope. On the wall of the LC's office was a poster that said "Breastfeeding: It is the one thing only a mom can do for her baby" I think this is a little exaggerated...there are a lot of things moms do for their kids that I don't think anyone else can do...but it is a very special experience that I'm so glad I did.

And if I EVER catch Penelope trying drugs or drinking in high school...you bet I'll say "Do you know how many hours I pumped so you could have the very best nutrition right from the start?! Then you do drugs?! How could you do this to me?"

June pictures

so many smiles required another slideshow! Penelope has become a picky eater. Well, kind of. If she can pick it up and put it in her mouth then she will eat some of it. If it is coming on a spoon, she shuts her lips tight and turns her head. I think one day I'll wake up and find a strawberry instead of a baby. She eats a whole strawberry once a day. The teacher at day care says she is eating a lot there. They had zuchinni and squash baby food. I guess she doesn't have a problem with baby food when it isn't mommy and daddy!

Why do babies need robes?

because they are Adorable!!

Gloworm lives on

Yup, there's Uncle Christopher with his gloworm almost 25 years ago. What a picture, huh? You can just tell that this is THE favorite toy for his 2nd Christmas. Now the Gloworm is kind of an odd toy. You just don't think of a worm as a great stuffed animal...and then to make it even stranger when you squeeze it he lights up in a sort of E.T. kind of alien color. Personally I would think the Popples (how I wanted one of those!) or Pound Puppies would have been the toy still going strong...but obviously I'm not the one who understand the toy industry as you can see below.

A big thank you to Great-Nana for sending the Gloworm. It has really helped distract her from the teething pain. Hopefully, these teeth will cut soon. I'll be able to fill my rain barrel with baby drool if she keeps going like this.

Grandpa's birthday

Today my dad's Facebook status read "John Henry is thinking today dad would have been 89! Happy Birthday Grandpa Henry." It is amazing how one sentence will derail all of your focus and your brain automatically goes to a vault way in the back and starts playing memory after memory. This is what happened to me today, and no matter what I did my mind kept wandering back to Grandpa Henry. Right after putting Penelope to bed I rummaged in the basement to find this picture of me and Grandpa. It is one of my favorites. This post may ramble and jump around a bit...kind of like my memory...

A quick history about Grandpa Henry. I may get a lot of facts wrong so Dad, Aunt Jan and Aunt Jo feel free to correct me! Grandpa was the oldest of 17 kids (maybe 15?) in Pennsylvania. He grew up during the depression and started working in the coal mines at age 12. I'm not sure if he quit school at 4th grade or 6th grade...but that was the end of his public school education. He lied about his age to get into the CCC, and then lied again to join the army. He fought at Pearl Harbor and Guadalcanal. I remember going to a 50th year anniversary where he got a very important medal, but I couldn't tell you what it was. My memory of that day is pretty much limited to thinking how pretty I looked in my pink lacey dress. Anyways, he met my grandma in Germany when she was visiting cousins. She came from a very well to do family and had a college degree in economics. After a 6 week courtship they were married. This is where everything gets a little fuzzy for me. They moved to WI near my grandma's parents, owned a gas station and raised my dad and 2 aunts. When my dad was 16 they decided to move to Arizona. In Tucson he started a fence company. So that's a basic history from what I've been told. But this really is about my memories so here goes...

a quiet man. My best memories are when there were few adults in the room and he'd play with us kids. We all loved sitting on his lap, pretending to be interested in the Cubs game, as he smoked his pipe and drank coffee. I would try to inhale deeply because I loved the smell of his pipe. Even now if I pass someone smoking a pipe or hear coffee percolating early in the morning I am right back in the dining room sitting on his lap. He'd always call all of us grandkids either Sam or George which would cause a fit of giggles and we'd say "Grandpa! My name isn't George!" If grandma was nowhere to be seen he'd sometimes show us his false teeth...but only if we promised not to tell her. I think one of us got really scared one time and he had been told never to take his teeth out again.

outdoors During the summer we'd be at Grandma and Grandpa's house twice a month at least and would spend hours in the pool. He'd sit on the porch swing and watch us or be puttering around the yard. Now that I have a yard I realize how much work he put into it. There were flowers in planters, climbing the brick wall, and in small beds all around. They were always very fragrant. Many times I'll smell a flower and have no idea what it is, but know that it was one in their back yard. He loved growing tomatos on the patio too. He'd spend all day outside from a very early golf game, gardening, sitting on the porch during the heat of the day while we were in the pool, and then take us outside at night to look at the stars. He always knew when we'd be able to see Venus or the evening star. I remember him pointing out the big dipper and me saying "I see it!" even though I had no idea where I should be looking.

bedtime When we were little and we'd spend the night at grandma and grandpa's, grandma would give us a bath and then pat us with a huge powder puff. We'd run in our footy pajamas to Grandpa's chair and say "grandpa, how do we smell?" and he'd say "Peeeyou! you stink!" Then Grandma would bring each of us an enormous root beer float. Spending the night at grandma and grandpa's was wonderful!

loss Yes, Grandpa Henry passed away 10 years ago, but many of my memories were a fear of losing him. I must have been 6 or 7 when he had his first heart attack. Of course, this was prior to cell phones so we had to get in the van and drive the 2 hours to Tucson, the whole time not knowing if he was going to make it through. All three of us kids knew we needed to be quiet. My memory is a little fuzzy here. I feel like I remember seeing my dad crying through the rear view mirror as he drove and that we got to see Grandpa in the hospital for a short time when we arrived...but this may be one of those things my memory is making up. I'm not sure. Grandpa survived many more heart attacks after that despite his doctors saying he wouldn't make it through another one. By my senior year he was not doing well. My sister was living in AZ and had seen him go down hill, but Christopher and I hadn't seen him since he moved into a nursing home. My dad was very upfront and asked me if I wanted to reschedule my finals and fly to see him now or fly to the funeral which would probably be in a short time. I knew I wanted to see him alive. I was shocked when I saw him. They said he may not know me, but he said my name right when I walked in. I didn't know what to say so I rambled on and on about how much I was working at my job at the movie theater, prom and all sorts of things I had planned for the summer. He sat and listened and then said "just remember, Laura, the easiest way to save your money is not to spend it. Always think before you spend" A very important lesson from a self made man who grew up during the depression. Dad went to get lunch at Wendys and brought Grandpa back a frosty. We helped him sit up. It had been days since he had really eaten, but he ate that frosty with gusto. Just dug right in and tuned everything out. After he had eaten the very last of it he looked up with an expression that pretty much said "couldn't you have gotten me a large?" We all had a good laugh. This is my last memory of Grandpa Henry.

Since he passed away 10 years ago I've heard stories about his temper or his relationship with grandma that don't fit my memories. I don't want to hear them. They all may be true, but that's not the Grandpa I knew. My only negative feeling is an odd one. I get angry that my grandma and grandpa henry are gone and didn't get to meet Chris or hold Penelope. I get angry at my selfish busy teenage years when I wouldn't visit them as often as I should have. I am sad that my brother and sister don't remember most of our time with them. But I guess this is how life works. I guess we don't celebrate birthdays of people who have died. It is still the day of his birth so Grandpa Henry, Happy Birthday!! We miss you!

Summer Fruit

Penelope doesn't have any teeth yet, but she isn't letting that stop her from enjoying summer fruit! We've made a bunch of purees which she loves...but if mommy and daddy are eating fruit she wants to try it too. It is quite amazing how much she can do with those gums.

Sucking on a strawberry. I just let her do this for a few seconds since I'm terrified of her choking. I need to get those little net things.

Oops... Daddy forgot a bib! There goes a white onesie.