Makes friends easily: This has always been a strength for me. I also think it is why I've enjoyed moving and changing jobs. I like finding people with similar interests and having a good conversation. In Minnesota it can be challenging because so many people grew up here and have a whole set of friends from preschool. It isn't that they don't want a new friend, it is just that they aren't going to go out of their way. So like anything else, it needs effort, like asking a coworker to lunch or to walk to the library on a sunny afternoon, joining a book club, knitting group, asking moms at daycare if they want to have a playdate, etc. Rochester is a little different than the twin cities and somewhat like Sierra Vista where you will find people who are only here for a short time. We had 2 families over for New Year's Day, both have daughters in Penny's daycare and both are moving by summer. It will be sad to see them go, but I also have made other friends who are more permanent. And if all else fails, my advice to someone in Minnesota wanting to make friends is to find a couple North Dakotans...they are all from small towns, have moved to Minnesota cities for the opportunities and excitement and make great friends!
Good at recommending books: This seems silly, but I'm pretty good at it. I love talking about books. I like to get an idea of the types of books people read and then recommend based on that. There are some genres I rarely read, but I can usually still recommend an author. I consider a success when people come back to me for more...and then I'll usually push outside of the box some. Just last week I gave a friend the book On Chesil Beach and she told me "I stayed up all night long reading it...and decided I hated it!" The funny thing was I had the exact same experience with that book, but I still remember it in detail 2 years later which isn't true of some books I've loved. I guess I didn't burn a book recommendation bridge either because then she moved right on to The Lonesome Dove, the next book I recommended. (And if you think I should be embarrassed for recommending a western novel, you need to read it. It's actually on many must read lists and has to be one of the best saga stories I've read. If you like Gone With The Wind you will like Lonesome Dove).
Finding things to do: I get this a lot "How do you find so many things to do?" You have to understand that Sierra Vista did not have stuff going on all the time. In the 9th grade I think my friends and I hiked Ramsey Canyon and to Coronado Cave multiple times a month. And rode miles and miles on our bikes just so we could loiter at Hastings (CD/movie store) and eat at Country Kitchen or Denny's. Then at age 16 we moved to DC. As you would expect from any high schooler, I went kicking and screaming....but my first weekend I sat with the Washington Post and a guide book circling all of the museum exhibits, shows and parks I wanted to visit. And I did. In my first month I saw Rent. The next month I met up with a friend in PA and we took a bus filled with senior citizens from her church to see Les Mis on Broadway. Since then I've done the same everywhere I've lived. I'm on email and mail lists, I check bulletin boards at the library and grocery store, I ask people what they are doing for the weekends, I check out guidebooks from the library. Obviously this is a personality preference. I would rather spend my weekend checking out an art fair or a bike trail then stay home.
Trying new things: This sort of falls into finding things to do, but it's a little different. I can push myself out of my comfort zone pretty easily. I don't have a fear of looking ridiculous. My philosophy is everyone has to start at the beginning and most people remember starting there. Also, for someone who is not naturally athletic, I tend to try a lot of sports. In the past two years I've taken Zumba, rowing, paddleboarding, hot yoga, cross country skiing. I guess the weakness on this is although I've liked all of these, none of these activities have become part of my normal routine.
Trusting other people: Okay, so some of my friends may group this in the negative "Laura is way too naive" category. There was the time in Scotland where a 50-year-old man invited me in his car to go play at the park with his puppy. Only when I was in the car going 40 miles an hour did I think, "maybe not the best move" but you know what? we got to the park and played with his puppy. Nothing happened (not that I'm going to tell Penny this story!) I really believe the majority of people out there are doing their best to figure out life. We all have different maps in our brain of the world around us so we often don't understand the other person's perspective, but we can try. I read a quote the other day that said something like "Other people aren't against you, they are for themselves." It's very true, and I think the more we can understand that the more we can trust that we are all in this together (And to think I snub my nose at all the self-help books my mom and sister read!)
I can think of a few others:
- going places like movies, restaurants, theater shows by myself
- enthusiasm in work presentations (sometimes I wonder if this is a negative because after every single presentation someone comments on my enthusiasm...which is really just nervousness that gets hyped up from years of musical theater training when I was kid, think jazz hands and marketing data)
- my memory --if we lived in a civilization without writing, I would be the oral historian. My childhood is crystal clear in my mind. Even my parents call me to ask questions of what we did 20 years ago. The downside is I'll wake up in the middle of the night and think "geez, why did I say that at show and tell in third grade? What an idiot thing to say" So don't think this is always a good thing!
As I wrote all of these I thought of some weaknesses within my strengths. For instance, I'm bad at staying in touch with old friends or confronting issues. Sometimes I've let great friendships fall to the wayside with no explanation because I couldn't deal with confrontation. Or regarding always doing new things, maybe sometimes I should balance some down time at home rather than planning our weekends (the MN winters do make this happen whether I want it or not).
So that's a long post to get back to the blog! Now to work on those resolutions...a sleep routine is one of them so I better hit the sack!
