Parenting perspective

The other day on Facebook I saw the following status:

If you allow your teens to wear pajama pants out in public in any context other than accidental sleep walking, shame on you!

This friend is very into fashion and I figured the post was part jest, so I didn't comment, but is this really a big deal? It is kind of strange that high schoolers are still sporting pajamas since I was doing it about age 13-15, but I think that shows the kids' reasoning behind it. It's those who want to show a non-conformist attitude, even if a bunch of them are doing it in a pack. For me and my friends it started at the end of middle school because we'd wear boxer shorts or pajama pants over our leotards before our dance and gymnastics classes. Then one or two girls wore them to school and soon it was a large group of the girls in drama class wearing boxer shorts and pajama pants to school.

Recently I heard the argument that allowing kids to wear pajamas to school is disrespectful and teaches children to be lazy. It does not prepare them for presenting themselves in the real world. I actually heard this from an old high school friend who used to wear pajama pants and is now a teacher doing quite well in the real world. My parents were huge sticklers for manners, but I never once remember my parents putting up a fight about me wearing pajama pants at school. Maybe it was because my wardrobe was a mix of cute dresses, salvation army vintage finds, and pajama pants. I wanted to be eccentric, retro, and fun all at the same time. They never had to worry about me going out in revealing clothes. I think that would have definitely brought up a struggle. I actually didn't hear anyone judging the silly style until I was way out of it. In my opinion if your kid is going to rebel, it could be a lot worse than pajama pants. Not to say that there weren't kids in pajama pants smoking behind the building, but there were also extremely well-dressed kids doing underage drinking every weekend. In high school kids are trying to find themselves, and I have a hard time believing that styles point to the good kids and bad kids.

Right now I tend to lean to the "pick your battles" parenting, rather then the New York Guiliani "Stop all minor crimes including jaywalking and you'll stop the major ones". I know in hindsight my parents have many things they would have changed while parenting teenagers. The three of us gave them a run for their money with the piercings, questionable parties, schoolwork, boyfriends, religious quests and all sorts of things. I really doubt if I asked them what they would change they'd look back and say "I really wish I didn't let you wear pajama pants." We'll see how I feel when Penelope reaches that age and wants some quirky teenager style. I'll just have to remind myself of this post and ignore any feelings of other parents judging me.