Grandpa's birthday

Today my dad's Facebook status read "John Henry is thinking today dad would have been 89! Happy Birthday Grandpa Henry." It is amazing how one sentence will derail all of your focus and your brain automatically goes to a vault way in the back and starts playing memory after memory. This is what happened to me today, and no matter what I did my mind kept wandering back to Grandpa Henry. Right after putting Penelope to bed I rummaged in the basement to find this picture of me and Grandpa. It is one of my favorites. This post may ramble and jump around a bit...kind of like my memory...

A quick history about Grandpa Henry. I may get a lot of facts wrong so Dad, Aunt Jan and Aunt Jo feel free to correct me! Grandpa was the oldest of 17 kids (maybe 15?) in Pennsylvania. He grew up during the depression and started working in the coal mines at age 12. I'm not sure if he quit school at 4th grade or 6th grade...but that was the end of his public school education. He lied about his age to get into the CCC, and then lied again to join the army. He fought at Pearl Harbor and Guadalcanal. I remember going to a 50th year anniversary where he got a very important medal, but I couldn't tell you what it was. My memory of that day is pretty much limited to thinking how pretty I looked in my pink lacey dress. Anyways, he met my grandma in Germany when she was visiting cousins. She came from a very well to do family and had a college degree in economics. After a 6 week courtship they were married. This is where everything gets a little fuzzy for me. They moved to WI near my grandma's parents, owned a gas station and raised my dad and 2 aunts. When my dad was 16 they decided to move to Arizona. In Tucson he started a fence company. So that's a basic history from what I've been told. But this really is about my memories so here goes...

a quiet man. My best memories are when there were few adults in the room and he'd play with us kids. We all loved sitting on his lap, pretending to be interested in the Cubs game, as he smoked his pipe and drank coffee. I would try to inhale deeply because I loved the smell of his pipe. Even now if I pass someone smoking a pipe or hear coffee percolating early in the morning I am right back in the dining room sitting on his lap. He'd always call all of us grandkids either Sam or George which would cause a fit of giggles and we'd say "Grandpa! My name isn't George!" If grandma was nowhere to be seen he'd sometimes show us his false teeth...but only if we promised not to tell her. I think one of us got really scared one time and he had been told never to take his teeth out again.

outdoors During the summer we'd be at Grandma and Grandpa's house twice a month at least and would spend hours in the pool. He'd sit on the porch swing and watch us or be puttering around the yard. Now that I have a yard I realize how much work he put into it. There were flowers in planters, climbing the brick wall, and in small beds all around. They were always very fragrant. Many times I'll smell a flower and have no idea what it is, but know that it was one in their back yard. He loved growing tomatos on the patio too. He'd spend all day outside from a very early golf game, gardening, sitting on the porch during the heat of the day while we were in the pool, and then take us outside at night to look at the stars. He always knew when we'd be able to see Venus or the evening star. I remember him pointing out the big dipper and me saying "I see it!" even though I had no idea where I should be looking.

bedtime When we were little and we'd spend the night at grandma and grandpa's, grandma would give us a bath and then pat us with a huge powder puff. We'd run in our footy pajamas to Grandpa's chair and say "grandpa, how do we smell?" and he'd say "Peeeyou! you stink!" Then Grandma would bring each of us an enormous root beer float. Spending the night at grandma and grandpa's was wonderful!

loss Yes, Grandpa Henry passed away 10 years ago, but many of my memories were a fear of losing him. I must have been 6 or 7 when he had his first heart attack. Of course, this was prior to cell phones so we had to get in the van and drive the 2 hours to Tucson, the whole time not knowing if he was going to make it through. All three of us kids knew we needed to be quiet. My memory is a little fuzzy here. I feel like I remember seeing my dad crying through the rear view mirror as he drove and that we got to see Grandpa in the hospital for a short time when we arrived...but this may be one of those things my memory is making up. I'm not sure. Grandpa survived many more heart attacks after that despite his doctors saying he wouldn't make it through another one. By my senior year he was not doing well. My sister was living in AZ and had seen him go down hill, but Christopher and I hadn't seen him since he moved into a nursing home. My dad was very upfront and asked me if I wanted to reschedule my finals and fly to see him now or fly to the funeral which would probably be in a short time. I knew I wanted to see him alive. I was shocked when I saw him. They said he may not know me, but he said my name right when I walked in. I didn't know what to say so I rambled on and on about how much I was working at my job at the movie theater, prom and all sorts of things I had planned for the summer. He sat and listened and then said "just remember, Laura, the easiest way to save your money is not to spend it. Always think before you spend" A very important lesson from a self made man who grew up during the depression. Dad went to get lunch at Wendys and brought Grandpa back a frosty. We helped him sit up. It had been days since he had really eaten, but he ate that frosty with gusto. Just dug right in and tuned everything out. After he had eaten the very last of it he looked up with an expression that pretty much said "couldn't you have gotten me a large?" We all had a good laugh. This is my last memory of Grandpa Henry.

Since he passed away 10 years ago I've heard stories about his temper or his relationship with grandma that don't fit my memories. I don't want to hear them. They all may be true, but that's not the Grandpa I knew. My only negative feeling is an odd one. I get angry that my grandma and grandpa henry are gone and didn't get to meet Chris or hold Penelope. I get angry at my selfish busy teenage years when I wouldn't visit them as often as I should have. I am sad that my brother and sister don't remember most of our time with them. But I guess this is how life works. I guess we don't celebrate birthdays of people who have died. It is still the day of his birth so Grandpa Henry, Happy Birthday!! We miss you!