Elephant Memory Meets Facebook

Most times in my life I'm very grateful for my wonderful memory. I've realized that the amount of memories I have from childhood is not normal. If I was part of a nomadic tribe, I'd surely be the oral storyteller that would keep everyone's memories and pass them on to the next generation. In fact, I already do that for my brother and sister. I cherish my clear distinct memories of holidays with Grandma and Grandpa Henry. I love to tell stories about the camping trip where Jennifer forgot her shoes, or me and Christopher burning GIJoes and then having a funeral for them. But sometimes I have memories I'd rather forget...

If you were a close friend of mine in Arizona you know I hated change of any kind. I was scared to death when we moved to VA...but when I walked into my first class at Chantilly High School I realized that I could be whoever I wanted. These people didn't have memories of me from 2nd grade when I had the worst buck teeth, scraggly hair and won so many spelling bees that by mid year the teacher gave the prize to the runner up. No, I didn't have to be known as that girl who got in trouble for talking in class too much or who had a crush on every single boy. I could be the platinum blonde in red and white checkered pants, a retro shirt with puff sleeves, doc martens and a backpack that looked like a turtle shell (yes, this was my attire on my first day at my new high school). And thank goodness we moved...later that day I met Chris so obviously my life took a wonderful exciting track. After that experience, I love change. My biggest fear in the past few years was buying a house because that meant we couldn't pick up and leave. I've gotten over that because I love where we are and Penelope is quite a big enough change for me right now :)

So this brings me to Facebook. I am highly addicted and for the most part love connecting with everyone. The majority of these people I would never hear from again if it wasn't for FB, and now about 1/3 of my friend list is filled with people I knew since elementary school. As with most people I have friends from different ages and then once we didn't have anything else in common or had some petty argument we stopped hanging out, but now we chat on facebook about our kids, families, memories from school (for the most part I ask "do you remember this?" and end up telling the stories that others don't remember). Lately since I'm connecting with so many people I've realized how all my worlds are colliding. To a friend from AZ I'd be a very different person then a friend from Brooklyn would remember. And sometimes I don't want these memories to be near each other even if it is just in my own mind...

Now you are probably wondering what was the catalyst of this post. (There is a story here, I promise!) So today at work I was sitting at lunch eating my applesauce and reading my Facebook notifications. I clicked on a new friend request and said out loud "no way!" I squinted at the small profile picture to see if this really was Katie Smith (name changed). I clicked on our 7 mutual friends. Yup, it had to be her. At this point I wanted to swear at the computer as tons of memories that I hated flooded in....

Back in the 6th grade my wardrobe was limited to baggy holiday themed sweatshirts or had cute bears and sayings like "Beary Huggable" on them. Pair these with some walmart jeans, fake keds with puffy paint and a nice rainbow retainer...you get the look. Katie, on the other hand, was always well dressed and one of those girls that everyone knew was mean but somehow she was popular. Well, one day I had a dance rehersal right after school. Being the early 90's there were some pretty awful trends going around like the bodysuit. This was actually very similar to the onesies that Penelope wears but really tight and paired with baggy jeans. Many of the older girls from my dance classes were sporting this look along with the mini backpack. Well, I thought I'd be daring and be the first to wear it to 6th grade. Of course I didn't have a bodysuit, so I wore my red leotard that I had to wear to rehersal later that day. Since I had never worn a tightfitting top to school I didn't realize that wearing the very lacy bra I had begged my mom for Christmas would not be the best undergarment. Well, within an hour of getting to school, Katie said loudly "Laura, if you are going to stuff your bra, we shouldn't be able to see the toilet paper bumps through your shirt." I turned bright red...total humiliation...especially since I had barely more curves then an ironing board. By recess I had boys from other classes daring each other to ask me to unstuff my bra. No matter what I said no one would believe me. This rumor followed me all the way through 8th grade. I remember sitting in art 2 years later and hearing Katie at the next table over tell a whole group of kids who didn't know me about "the day Laura stuffed her bra." I know you can say that she was insecure and jealous and it all made me a better person and I'm better off because of it blah blah blah...but the moment I saw her name today all those humiliating feelings leaped into my throat. Just 8 months ago when I was holding 3 day old Penelope I started crying. I told Chris "I don't want her to grow up and have girls make fun of her or cry because some boy is really mean to her" I really don't want her to go through all of that and if there was any way to fast forward middle school for her I'd do it in a heartbeat....

...but I will say there was some satisfaction today when I looked at that friend request on my computer and thought in a very snarky petty way "so katie smith, you want to be my friend? Well too bad!" and clicked IGNORE.