Okay, it doesn't seem like a fluke now. For the past few weeks we've gotten a couple full nights of sleep. Penelope was nice enough to sleep through the night on Wednesday so I was well rested for work on Thursday. Chris had a much better day with Penny. I told him that the rule of thumb I go by is to start rocking her to sleep after 2 hours of being awake. That with the swaddling made such a difference to his day. Penny was a doll last night when I got home. She "talks" so much. I don't know if I'd call it cooing because it really is like she is having a conversation with us. It sounded like she was telling me a whole story. I loved it!!
Thank goodness that Jill gave me the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. I've had other parents recommend it to me too. That's where I learned the 2 hour rule for this age. I guess some people have a problem with this book because it does promote "cry it out" when babies are older. I haven't read other sleep books yet but I know we won't do "cry it out" until she is older if that is the method we decide on. Can I say again how happy I am to have tons of books and the American Academy of Pediatrics?! As many of you know I love facts and statistics! Unlike my friend Jackie Lee, I'm not assertive enough to just say "I'm the mom and this is the way we are doing it." I hope that I can get to that place soon. Not that I don't like advice if it is constructive, but when I'm told that I'm spoiling/enabling Penelope it is nice that I can say the AAP research shows that spoiling a young baby is impossible and letting babies cry it out too young can lead to sleep issues later on. It is hard to argue with an entire group of pediatricians. And yes, I know that growing up we probably cried it out at a week old, didn't sleep on our backs, or sit in car seats and we all survived. But there were babies who didn't. Of course, SIDS is very rare, but since parents have started to put babies on their back to sleep it has reduced SIDS by 50%. That's pretty amazing. One of my coworkers had a good point. It is really rare, but when it happens to your baby it is 100% for you. Not that I want to put Penelope in a padded bubble and never have her fall and scratch her knees but why is it an issue that I always double check her seat belt latches are tight enough? It is common sense. Sure, 20 years from now there might be some new research that shows I was doing something totally wrong, but I might as well read the current research and make an informed decision on what feels right for us instead of listening to some movie star's belief on vaccines (that would be a whole other post!).
I'm also amazed how judgemental some moms can be. I occasionally check out some online parent message boards. I'd say half of the posters are supportive and the other half are quick to tell you that you are ruining your baby. Can't we all agree that this is hard and we are all doing what is best for us and our child? I hate to see other moms being all high and mighty about breastfeeding. Penelope and I struggled so much in the beginning and ended up seeing a lactation consultant 3 times. I was ready to give up. I felt guilty because my reasons for continuing weren't that great. We had such a hard time that it wasn't a bonding thing for me. I didn't want to use formula because the formula poo smell makes me gag, the idea of buying formula made my frugal head spin, and I wanted her to have all the health benefits so she doesn't get sick this winter. Besides the last one what kind of reasons are those?! Now that we've figured it out it is a wonderful bonding experience, but it took almost 6 weeks to get there. Of course, some people don't have a problem from day one, but I'm glad that I did experience what a struggle this natural thing can be. If Chris and my family were not a huge support system I never would have continued. Actually in the hospital at 3 am I had a discussion with Penelope on how you can't ever fault single moms for formula feeding because it seemed almost impossible with Chris there and to be alone and breastfeed would be really difficult. Just a little sociological one sided discussion while I was still on painkillers :) Shows what a blast I can be on drugs! Anyways, I've now set mini-goals rather then when I was pregnant and said "I will breastfeed for a year no matter what."
Well, my sleeping through the night post kind of turned into a vent/therapy post. I promise there will be pictures at the next post. Penelope is having another play date with Libbi tomorrow. yay!
4 comments:
and remember that what ever or how ever you decide to 'do things in your family' that you are the ones that are going to be living with that child(ren) not the experts and not another 'perfect mom' for the next 24/7 years to come. It is now you and Chris and your children that are your family and life now. Enjoy every minute of it, expect days of major frustration but just as you remember the actual birth as 'not so bad' (I know yeah right!) the frustrations will fade into the background as the great memories fill the spaces - first time she says mama, first steps, first giggle, first hug/kiss....... Love to you and and your special family Aunt Jo
what a wonderful post. Your philosophical discussions to a newborn while on painkillers sounds like a barrel of laughs.
But you got this parenting thing down pretty good for someone with just a newborn. I know I was always afraid of everything we did with you guys, but it all seemed to work out ok. We did things that we were sposed to do and are now wrong and we did things we weren't sposed to do and are now right.
The important thing is to do the things you talked about in your last post -- you know love, and spending time with your baby/child. It it more important to spend more time enjoying the NOW then worrying about what you did yesterday or what will happen in the future. The past will always be there, the future will always be unknown, you need to enjoy NOW.
I am sorry MeMa and Papa John are missing wonderful Penny as she tells her version of life - don't you wish we could understand. However, I still remember Pills, the NA NA baby, that only was quiet for her dad. I still treasure being that important for you. Those pasts that I remember are what it is all about.
Still your dad - even if I am Papa John now
Here is a funny look at being a mom. I loved it. I can so see Grandma Henry singing this song
http://blogs.northlandchurch.net/2008/08/11/the-mom-song/
I know it's totally cliche to say, but...amen! Do what you feel is right for your baby and ignore the rest.
Glad to hear breast feeding is going so much better for the two of you. I hear you on the husband support. There are days I would have given up without Shaun. Unfortunately there were and still are people who are not supportive around me. It's hard to ignore the negativity at times. I even had my former employer harass me for 2 weeks about it!
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