Baby or Kung Pao

As many of you know Laura is not a very patient person. Yes, she is the child who 2 weeks before Christmas will seek out and open any present she can find. It is this lack of patience that lead us to a rather interesting debate..."Was that the baby kicking or the Kung Pao chicken?." For those of you who don't know, Laura has been demanding that our child make it's presence known to her. Already "Don Juan" has been grounded for the next several years for his/her insubordination. After dining on some take out Chinese food, Laura was sure that the grumblings in her is stomach was the baby...I on the other hand felt that it was just the "dirty" Chinese food making it's way to the fart factory. Laura demanded that I place my hand on her stomach to try and see if I could feel anything. After several minutes I had to tell her that I think it was just the Kung Pao on it's journey out. Laura unwilling to believe that such a high class meal of Kung Pao chicken (at $6.95) could be the cause of all the noise and movement, proceded to poke and prod at her stomach. I tried to get her to stop this as I do not want a baby that is full of dents. However she chose not to listen to me. It is at this point I became aware of the great and terrible vengeance that will be wrought against my wife by our child. After several weeks of poking, threats and groundings, I feel that when Don Juan is ready to make him/herself known, Laura will not get what she hoped for. No doubt Don Juan is currently working out in secret, possibly behind the kidneys, getting the biceps and calfs formed and ready. Once Don Juan has grown enough he or she will wait for the perfect opportunity to strike. My prediction is that she or he will attack the bladder, there by causing maxium damage and embarrassment. Image if you will Laura, enjoying herself at her baby shower, enjoying a snack and a drink with the family. When Don Juan, with the now massive fetal bicep muscles, grabs ahold of Laura's bladder causing her to completely lose control and she wets herself in front of everyone. I have of course warned Laura of this, but still she presists. I guess we will just have to disagree on the cause of Laura's stomach event that evening. For now all I can do is smile and wait for the day that there is no doubt that Don Juan is saying hello...I being the first one to point out the fact that Laura has in fact peed her pants.

Fate is not without a sense of humor and toliet jokes are always funny.

Chris - Future father.